My dear friends at Glen Morris,

Happy New Year!

As Christians, the true beginning of our year was the start of Advent. Still, the birth of Jesus is one of those events in Christian life that seems to be tied to many beginnings. We know Jesus’ coming brought us salvation, both through his ministry and his perspective. The new year does, however, bring those markers we know too well: the gym membership that I will probably lapse on in six months, the start of a new semester, winter showing it’s full strength, and promises to this time give up junk food – after one more chocolate from the Christmas stocking.

There is energy here. A hum so low and deep and central within our bodies that we can hear it singing in our blood. It’s a dizzying feeling, isn’t it?

Despite our excitement – Jesus is born! The difficulties of 2022 are behind us! – there’s also coldness here. We may have passed the longest night, but there is still an uncomfortable quiet to the long lasting darkness. I know Jesus’ light will lead us through the winter of whatever may have been sitting heavy on our hearts during the holidays and bring us to the joy of spring, but it takes time. This is a journey, and we are called to recognize we are in it for the long haul. That the ebbs and flows are neither endings and beginnings, but our little piece of the grander circle that is life as creation. In time we will see what our part of it is, even if we cannot see it now.

Well, if I am perfectly honest with you, this is what I want to believe, but even I am not sure.

The year 2022 found me having to make several big transitions. Some of them were inevitable – going from being an inquirer who shows promise for ordained ministry to a candidate is a change that snuck up on me. Not in the sense that I did not expect it, but as the months have passed, it dawns on me more and more that this recognition by the body of the church means that I now wear a hat as a minister (even if I am just a student minister) in the communities I am involved in. The weight of my new reality as Candidate seemed to hit much later than when the responsibility began, and now sometimes I find myself agonizing over potential missteps in the early days. Some other transitions were completely unexpected.

As I alluded to around Christmas, there has been a massive transition in my understanding on who is and is not family in my life. What role people, including myself, play, now that I have a family of my own to care for has become a focal point. In situations like this, it can seem like even after you feel you have your finger on the pulse, everything in life seems to be spiraling away from you.

That is what the New Year brings, a certain sort of chaos that is both equal parts exciting and terrifying. For many of us, we hate this. We have gotten so comfortable in our predictable lives with our perfected patterns that we see anything that dares attempt to upend our understanding of ourselves, the people around us, and life, as a threat. I’m here to tell you that in these moments I truly think God is doing some amazing work, and that we all need to keep a close eye on what the Almighty has in plan for us. Your life as you know it may end, but only because a new life is waiting for you.

Is that not part of our baptismal promises? Where we start is seldom where we end up, and that end usually becomes yet another beginning.

Even though things may be dark for you now, just remember: it’s a lot harder to find a lit lantern in daylight.

Sometimes the darkness is a blessing to help us find the light to guide us.

May the year 2023, and all of the chaotic energy you feel shine a light in your life.

 

Blessings,

Jayden